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Emotional Train Wrecks

Emotional ChargesAccidents Happen

Self-Empowerment To Help You Handle Life

We all know that accidents happen- they are considered to be a normal part of life whether it is a car accident or an act of nature, which is why we buy insurance.

The funny thing is that when it comes to emotional accidents, we tend to deny them and deny that they occur, losing our opportunity for self-empowerment. Perhaps this is, in part, due to the fact that we can’t buy insurance for the emotional train wrecks in our lives. If we could, this insurance would probably be terribly expensive because it would have to cover job loss, divorce and any other mess we may find ourselves in.

Take A Step Into Wisdom & Empowerment

And we all do find ourselves in these train wrecks at different times in our lives. Some are smaller and almost go unnoticed while others are so significant that they change the way we live our lives. Similar to traveling, life is a journey and along the way emotional accidents are just a part of the journey. Embracing this fact alone will take us a step deeper into our own wisdom.

Wisdom Knows How To Embrace


Find Self-Empowerment Through Embracing

Also similar to travel, emotional wrecks can be minimized or avoided when we are alert and focused on being ‘safe drivers’. As a matter of fact, it is a safe driver who recognizes that accidents do happen. So, instead of denying them, a safe driver is alert and practices safe driving habits.

Can we apply this to ourselves? Can we minimize our emotional train wrecks?

Of course we can! In the world of energy, like attracts like. This means that any denying or suppressing of our emotional train wrecks will actually hold the energy of a wreck at bay. The problem with holding energy is that it activates it, thus attracting it more strongly. In other words, ‘what you resist will persist’.

On the contrary, if we safely navigate through our lives, knowing that emotional train wrecks shouldn’t be denied, but rather should be looked out for so that we can minimize them, then we’ll have a much smoother ride.

An emotional train wreck occurs when the shit hits the fan in our lives. Problems are a given in life and successful people are those who embrace their problems, minimizing their train wrecks.

Why Deny?

So, why don’t we handle emotional train wrecks in our lives the way we handle accidents, as something we just need to take care of? The difference between a natural disaster and a drunk driving accident can help us answer this:

A drunk driving accident is, of course, an accident that could have been avoided. Either the driver could have had less to drink, appointed a designated driver or taken a taxi home. The same is true of our emotional train wrecks.

People drink excessively for various reasons, but the most common is to numb themselves out in an effort to escape their emotional experience. Whether they are looking to escape pain due to loss or a pronounced problem or whether they simply can’t process what is occurring in their lives, it all amounts to the same thing: their emotions are getting to be too much for them.

Life is filled with experiences which we are meant to process on an emotional level. However, when our problems get to be too much for us we often seek to escape feelings of lack, of low self-worth, self-pity and so on. However, just like our physical digestive system, which processes our food completely, we are meant to process our feelings too. Just like a body that can’t eliminate its waste or take in the nutrients in its food, our emotional selves also must process, taking in the parts of our experience which nourish us and eliminate the parts of life that, after digesting, do not serve us. Otherwise, we easily starve (which can lead to depression), missing our nutrients, or experience constipation at an emotional level.

Emotional Constipation

Physical intoxication causes us to make poor choices, such as getting behind the wheel when drunk. Emotional constipation, thus, can do the same thing, including have us get behind the metaphorical wheel of our lives while under an influence. An emotional influence comes in when we are ‘seeing red’, when we are ‘at the end of our rope’, we’ve lost hope and so on. Haven’t we all yelled at the wrong person because they happened to cross our paths at the wrong time?

On the other hand, when we are processing life, including being with our own feelings in life, we tend to process our experience. We get into a flow of life and we tap into our own authenticity, which otherwise gets buried under the influence of our own emotional constipation. Emotional train wrecks are avoided when we digest all of life. Being in good emotional health means that we don’t allow such emotional constipation; we handle problems and feelings as they come, avoiding potential accidents in our own lives, such as telling our boss off just because we are having a bad day. Sitting with our anger and our blame -and owning these- could save our job.

Accumulated emotional constipation creates the opposite experience in our lives. With so many pent up emotions and feelings we become toxic to ourselves. Sooner or later we make a poor choice, which inevitably creates an emotional train wreck in our lives because getting behind the wheel when drunk never leads to anything good.

Buy The Ticket


& Empower Your Life

We are all experiencing this journey called life. We all will have accidents along the way, as they are clearly built in to the system. However, how we handle this aspect of life varies from person to person. I have seen people lose their marriage in a heartbeat, lose their job or their friends and family- even their own lives. Life holds no judgment and eventually will take everything from us, but we don’t need to invite emotional pain and loss in early. When we buy the train ticket and take the emotional ride of our own feelings on a regular basis we actually decrease our train wrecks and increase our ability to handle these. After all, life is not taking things away from us today– it is just asking us to navigate our own journey and our own feelings. It is us, ourselves, who get to determine what kind of train ride we experience.

Kalyn B Raphael is the Co-Founder of the Golden Flow™ System, is a Coach of Coaches, a Channel, Author, and a Spiritual Life Coach specializing in spirituality and parenting. She dedicates herself to helping others live in the flow of well-being by living their authenticity.Learn about Kalyn’s coaching at or subscribe to her newsletter (Right-Hand column) to receive a class on How To Manifest, Coaching for Coaches, A Free book to help you find your purpose and much more!


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2 comments… add one
  • Reply bob December 8, 2011, 6:49 pm

    Emotional constipation, good description!

  • Reply Turqueya Vincent (http://epitomewoman NULL.wordpress July 6, 2012, 2:56 pm

    Well put together! Thanks for sharing. I try to take the emotional ride weekly – no matter where it leads – to avoid the inevitable train wreck that comes when I deny myself the trip. – Turqueya

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