“Mommy, What Is That Man Doing To That Woman On TV?”
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It is much easier to talk about birds and bees than it is about sex, let me tell you! If only the answer could revolve around her interest in insects…
How do we, as Soul-Keepers, or Conscious Parents, answer such a question? When is the right time to talk about topics that may not quite be age appropriate? Five seems pretty young to learn about such “adult” topics. And yet, if we don’t answer our children’s question – and they are aware of our white lies, dodging answers- then what are we saying without words?
Here is the thing – no book or expert can tell you when the right time is or what the right answer is for you and your child. Every child is unique so that the right time can be different for each of them. Every child is human and will learn about everything in life. The most important part about being a Soul-Keeper is that we need to learn to read cues from our children and recognize when they are truly ready and how much they are ready for. A Soul-Keeper thus creates confidence in the relationship, knowing that their child will appreciate having someone trustworthy in their life.
We can’t always honestly answer “You’re too young” or “I’ll tell you when you get older”, but we can use these answers a few times. Be sure to select your use of such phrases wisely and then set out to know what and how much you can tell your child so that you are honest with them as opposed to making topics, such as sex or drugs, scandalous and for more interesting because you avoided answering (and perhaps became embarrassed or secretive inadvertently) the question.
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Kalyn B Raphael is the Co-Founder of the Golden Flow™ System, is a Coach of Coaches, a Channel, Author, and a Spiritual Life Coach specializing in spirituality and parenting. She dedicates herself to helping others live in the flow of well-being by living their authenticity. Learn about Kalyn’s coaching at https://coachmaven.com or subscribe to her women’s newsletter at http://golden-flow-system.com/joynews
Picture Source: http://www.openfaves.com
Nice point here soul-keeper 😉
I don’t have any child yet, and my imagination is so far from that thing (still young)… :p
Well, as I grew up .. I never ask that from my parents, I just learned things as time and day pass by ..
We are sexual beings from the beginning and so education on our sexual-ness starts at the beginning, not when puberty hits. There are appropriate ways to talk to your children about sexual topics at each stage of their lives. If they are old enough to ask, they are old enough to know (at least in the most basic, age-appropriate sense).
The issue is mostly with the adults, who look at the topic from an adult perspective. We forget that children are curious, and they are asking because they want to know, not because of any connotation we place on sex. They don’t have any notion of sex being dirty, nasty, private, public, or whatever, those are things we adults condition them into believing. All children want is answers, give them the facts, and they’ll leave you alone.
If you go to Amazon and type in the title “Where Did I Come From” you will find many great books geared to children of all ages and stages.
Peace & Blessings,
Unique
Hello Unique,
We are sexual beings and keeping things from children only creates an emotional charge within them. However, adult sexuality can be extremely inappropriate for children. The “Where Did I Come From” books are great – they are simple and the illustrations are cute, but not sexual. Sexuality is not something children are prepared for, physically speaking, and won’t be until they reach sexual maturity (generally speaking).
Explaining a hot love scene on HBO or perhaps in an R-rated movie that they are exposed to is difficult. The reason such movies are rated R is because they are not appropriate for young children.
It seems to me that you are talking about speaking to them of something different in the sense of sex or creation, as opposed to adult sexuality. In a safe and un-sexual setting, such as these books, it is an appropriate topic – although a girlfriend who explained pregnancy to her daughter then had her 4-year old daughter obsessed with “being pregnant” so that this is the role she played for over half a year every time she played. Clearly, something was out of balance. Her daughter was given information that she wasn’t really mentally able to process, so she kept re-playing it in efforts to comprehend it.
Ultimately, every parent, guardian or Soul Keeper(TM) has to determine the appropriate information at the appropriate time for each child, which I’m sure you’d agree with, Unique.
Thanks for your comment and the suggestion of these cute books!
Kalyn