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Coaching The Coach: Most Common Problem

By Kalyn B Raphael

Coaching The Coach

The most common challenge I find that coaches experience is that they get stuck with a client and don’t know how to help them.

So, let’s look at the why of this- there are two reasons this happens. Generally it is because our clients, who are like us in this respect, are excellent story tellers.

They know how to tell the story of their issue or problem so that there is no solution, no possible relief and no choices available at all. They are stuck in the midst of their own private hell and it’s so bad, they don’t even expect that you can help them out!

People, ourselves included, are never seen for the master story tellers we are. We also never give ourselves the credit for being just as good at finding the resolution.
This is our job as coaches. One of the most common roles I find myself in when coaching the coach is training the coach to hear what they need to hear in the client’s story, as opposed to getting lost in the soap opera of their lives.

So, in coaching the coach, the message is simple: KISS. Keep It Super Simple!

The second problem I most commonly see in coaching coaches is their getting stuck trying to resolve a client’s problem. Well, the grass is always greener, but that doesn’t mean that we are meant to mow that lawn!

Coaches Need To Define Their Role

It is important to define our role as coach and then wear the coaches’ hat during our sessions. When we stick to this, we see that we are a facilitator, someone who is meant to guide or coach our client through the game of their life. We aren’t necessarily meant to get in and play the game for them or tell them how to play their game. There is a difference between advice and awareness: between telling them what to do and helping them see and decide what the right thing is for them to do.

When I coach a coach and they see themselves in this light, then they realize that their job is not to be filled with answers! Their job is to help their client find the best for themselves. A coach helps a client see the playing field and the game as a whole; then they let the player do what they are good at.

Coaches, don’t let yourself get stuck on the playing field! It’s not your game. In coaching coaches some of the greatest assistance I provide is in helping you learn to hear the true story through the massacred of complication and to help you see yourself as a coach, not a problem-solver.

Coaches, if you haven’t defined your role make sure you do. And then make sure you wear your coaching hat!

Kalyn B Raphael is the Co-Founder of the Golden Flow™ System, is a Coach of Coaches, a Channel, Author, and a Spiritual Life Coach specializing in spirituality and parenting. She dedicates herself to helping others live in the flow of well-being by living their authenticity.
Learn about Kalyn’s coaching at or subscribe to her women’s newsletter at (http://golden-flow-system




4 comments… add one
  • Reply Angel Alley (http://www NULL.luvenlightens November 23, 2011, 9:58 pm

    Enlightening article on the role of a coach. I appreciate the important note that “coaches need to define their role.” Healthful tips on remaining in the role of coach, manage our own egos to better position ourselves to assist our clients. Thank you!

  • Reply Michael Gage (http://www NULL.narrowpathseekers December 2, 2011, 4:42 pm

    I am a Board Certified Christian Life coach, and member of ICCA, International Christian Coaching Association. One of my duties is to find articles on coaching for the ICCA eNewsletter that is sent out to thousands of members each month.
    I read you article on “Coaching the Coach”, and I am very interested in submitting it to our team for publication in an upcoming Newsletter.
    Please write me back on my email with your thought.
    Thank You for what you do,
    Michael Gage, BCACLC

  • Reply Wendy Greene (http://Www NULL.wendypgreene NULL.blogspot December 7, 2011, 12:52 am

    I really like the line, “don’t let yourself get stuck on the playing field! It’s not your game.” As a coach, a big moment for me was really understanding that my role is to coach the client, not the issue.

  • Reply Trisha (http://www NULL.itsyourlifecreateit June 18, 2012, 2:44 pm

    Thanks for the advice. It’s nice to hear that others get stuck in their clients story as well. I love that our role is not to fix people but show them another way to possibly approach a problem and “coaching” them through it! Nice article, thanks again!

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