Coach Maven, Coaching the Coach
Be You, Live Authentically, Be Unlimited
By Kalyn
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http://emerald-depths.deviantart.com/art/The-Road-Home-215862532
Perhaps you might say to me “Kalyn, you simply chose to move to the States when your mom separated and moved back to California”, but I would say this is only true on the surface.
Everything is energy first, which means that even our choices and decision, as well as the options made available in our choices, are energy first too. So, I question the energy of my life. Now, let me clarify, I question it out of both wonder bathed in gratitude and some fear. I consider myself to be extremely fortunate, thought this brings me back to questioning the energy of it all, for I am the only grandchild, out of thirteen, who had the opportunity to grow up in the land of opportunity.
I was recently at a workshop where the speaker said, in his German accent, that he was proof that ‘the American dream’ is still here, since people now say it may be gone. Well, I too feel this way. After all, on my father’s side of the family, to be born into a family of thirteen in our generation, which includes my brother who should have, by definition, had the same opportunities I did since we have the same parents, and to be the only one who grew up in a first world country is quite a blessing.
What a terrible question I hear a part of myself asking. It is what it is and it worked in my favor, so why ask? There is a curious aspect to people, which the cliche says the cat killed. For me though, it is more. I am visiting Mexico now and have had the rare opportunity to see a handlful of my cousings. Even though I grew up in the States, I would come and spend the summers here when I was young. It helped me keep up my second language and get to know this side of my family, especially cousins my age.
Visiting now is strange. I hadn’t seen the cousins I had an opportunity to see in at least ten years, along with their parents, my uncle and two aunts. It is rattling to see people age ten plus years at a time, since my memories of them don’t age as the years pass. All of a sudden my teen-aged cousings are now in their forties. They have all gained weight (haven’t we all) and I see the weight of time upon them. I see the struggles in their smile and I see the price of life they have thus far paid. I see some of them struggling financially, which is due more to their upbringing, and I see my favorite cousin stressed out because squatters have absconded with the home she and her husband had begun to build after having saved the money for it for ten years. Not even a title to the property, lawyers and legal battles have returned this to them.
Even in the Enchanted Land of Opportunity where I live in Santa Fe, New Mexico there is strugggle, sure. However, it is easy for those of us in the US to be clueless about how good we do have it by living in a first world country. It is easy for us to take the many opportunities before us for granted. Receiving a free education through High School and being able to attend comunity colleges or state universities inexpensively isn’t a luxury given to all countries. Even every-day experiences like renting an appartment in the US isn’t a huge deal, though in Mexico City just finding available space and then having someone offer themselves as collateral for your rental is more complex.
The One-Man StandWhen I was young my parents separated. When my younger brother and I visited my dad, he talked us into staying with him to try to bring the family back together. When my mom next visited, I told her I wanted to go back to the US with her.
She then told my dad, who quickly turned to me and brought forth the force to be recconed with. He said that no, I wanted to stay putting me in a position opposite to what I’d wanted.
For a young child to stand up to a contradictory argument and express their desire can require the iron courage of a six-foot tall football player. Or, a child will just blurt out what they want as if it were nothing. For the little girl I was, it was courage.
I’ve never been good at standing up for myself, it is something that has been a core focus in my personal and spiritual growth. When I look back at the one time that I clearly said, without hesitation, where I wanted to live, it seems surreal. A simple sixty seconds, or less, that determined the future energies, probabilities and opportunities of my life — must have had a devine influence. Call it a predestined change, if you like. And this is my point.
Life on Venus exists in a galaxy in which I married my husband, had my daughter and live in my house with our pets, and owning our business. It is all me and beautiful things that I adore about my life. It is a world on Venus because I am a woman and, had I stayed in Mexico, metaphorically speaking I would have grown up in a foreign world, like Mars, and in a different galaxy in which everything is the same and yet completely different from the husband, child, home to the language, beliefs…
My teachers, before the days of Facebook, told me that everything begins in energy. I have grown up between two gallaxies where the energies are very different to manifest as such different experiences. And I alone have switched galaxies.
As a personal and spiritual coach I am accustomed to reading the energy of people, problems, desires, places and, most of all, me. I have spent so much time working on my own energy and its manifestations that my cousins, aunts and uncles are impressed, meaning that they are impacted by my visit. I see this in their eyes as they look at me and hear a little about my life. But they aren’t impressed just because I’m part Mexican, though I’m not. They aren’t really impressed because I’m culturally American, because when it comes down to it, I’m not.
When it comes down to it, I’m me. I have shifted my perception and my energy so that I don’t identify with a culture, but rather with my dreams. Sure, I basically consider myself American, but I’m not married to it. I may even move abroad one day.
So, this energy of mine, call it pre-destined or divine intervention, has been the true blessing. It has lead me on a path, which the US facilitated, of personal and spiritual growth. It has made me unique; I’ve been described as a mystery because I look “cute and small, but then am deceptively powerful”.
Yes, everything is energy first. These words are no longer a cryptic message, but rather the explanation as to my experience. And, my energy has always seemed to be to help others as they find their way through it all. And to do so, I’ve focused on my energy, which I’m seeing from a different perspective on this trip, and which I’m grateful for.
Being identified in me means that I’m not identified in being American, though I consider myself to be quite patriotic. Why not? It’s a great country, imperfect as it may be.
A part of me has asked why I was blessed, but the thing is, it’s a bit of a silly question. Even if circumstances had been different and I’d grown up in Mexico I would have been faced with the same choice in life we are all: to own my life. We all have challenges in life and we all hit some sort of rock-bottom. What we choose and whether we own our lives enough to build something authentic from the bottom up has nothing to do with destiny or divinity. It is all us.
The truth is that, like my favorite cousin, I have an inner calling that I chose to listen to. I chose to go up against all my odds and improve myself. I chose to change my energy. No one requires a predestined experience or divine intervention to make this choice and such experiences still require us to do what we need to do to improve our own experience.
Yes, times are changing and we are in for still more change. This being the year of authenticity, there is a calling to us all to connect with who we truly and authentically are. It is a calling for us to look deeper than the designer jeans we covet, because they won’t change who we are; for us to go beyond the beliefs we are identified in and to be impressed by life and the world around us such that we allow our authentic selves to come forward. This authentic side might choose those same jeans, but now those jeans and our authenticity puts us in a parallel universe in which our authentic self lives by a different set of laws.
This authentic self knows. It knows what to do and where to go; it knows how to put us in the right place at the right time, without us trying. It knows how to allow a harmonious life which will impress those around us with love, while creating beautiful music in our predestined– or not– lives.